Hopefully, you did your work in the first article in this 3 part series, “I DON’T CARE! Part I I Really Don’t!” Remember, the truth is that just because you convince yourself that you don’t care does not exempt you from feeling. Ask yourself, have you ever been so angry that you didn’t remember what you did or said? This may sound extreme but it’s a reality for many. Or have you been so sad and depressed that you don’t remember where the days even went? In both cases, you were still feeling angry or sad, you just were not aware in the present moment of the feeling. Why because you chose to numb it because YOU GET TO DO THAT! You get to choose! It’s in your benefit package called, “LIFE,” under the section “FREE WILL.”
Consider this, you are undergoing a tooth extraction with your dentist. You receive a topical solution for numbing, followed by an injection into the gums with more numbing solution aimed at the root of the pain. The extraction takes place and you feel nothing, right? Does it mean the pain is not present? No, it means you don’t feel pain presently. However, just wait! In just a few hours you’ll feel the pain from the root to the surface because the root still exists! Once that pain surfaces to your consciousness, you now have options such as self-medicating, ignoring it, or embracing the root of the pain and surrender to what can be a painful process called healing.
Since, you’re still reading and allowing me to be truthful with you, another truth is that you actually care so much that it is causing this reaction down the D-NILE. You know, that long journey of denial of your true care and concern. Listen, you can not overcome what you don’t acknowledge. I know that you just don’t understand how to manage the hurt and pain and so you are using the tool you know about; numbing. Sister-friend, when you numb, it doesn’t validate that the feeling is not there, it just validates your disconnection to the feeling.
Feelings can serve you if you understand how to use them to your benefit. For example, a little anxiety can alert you to discern a need to proceed but with caution. Feelings can also, if you overidentify with them, cause your detriment. Sticking with the example of anxiety, too much, can keep you in state, I call “high alert,” causing you to go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. Your body and mind are not designed to maintain this state. This process causes many harmful chemicals to release in your brain wreaking havoc from a cellular level. Therefore, learning how to self-regulate your thoughts, feelings, and emotions becomes even more paramount.
It’s important to realize that some of these not so healthy ways of being were rooted in your early years and are still with you. You may not have been taught, modeled, and learned the appropriate way to communicate back then and now, it’s showing up in your work and your career, your intimate relationships, and most importantly it appears as an internal conflict with internal dialogue that is unhealthy for you.
Consider your childhood, now your adulthood. Are your current issues related? Is it still serving you and in what way? Then stay tuned for a powerful ending “I Don’t Care, Part III Do You Care Now.”
Richale is a John Maxwell global certified speaker, trainer and coach and both a licensed mental health and addictions therapist in the state of NC. For more information on how to book Richale go to https://inpoweryou.com. For therapy in the state of North Carolina only visit https://caterrrrflies.com. Join The Power Within Podcast with Richale https://feed.podbean.com/inpoweryou/feed.xml.